When the world will truly know peace...

I sit here at this computer, earlier in the evening having done havdalah and said l'hitraot to shabbat. My heart rejoices that as a Jew I am a part of a people that holds this tradition, making the sabbath so special and unique. My heart breaks and yearns, for sabbath is over and I can't wait until once again I can breath in the queen. In a translation of the Yiddish of Kadia Molodowsky by Jean Valentine, "...my heart's song is an eternal Sabbath."

I often spend the time after Havdalah reading; prayer books, midrashim, whatever miscellaneous jewish text or otherwise thas happens to have fallen into my hands. Tonight, the following paragraph, at the end of a collection of writings brought me to tears.

A rabbi was asked by a farmer when the world would truly know peace. The rabbi replied, "Follow me." He then brought him to the side of a brook, put his hand on the farmer's head, and pressed it into the water until the farmer came up gasping for breath. The rabbi then said: "This is your answer. When man wants peace, when he wants as much as you just wanted air, when he comes up gasping for peace, when he is truly ready to give everything in himself to have peace, as you have give to have air, he will have peace."

So many times I've prayed, HaShem bless me, my people, all of humanity, all of creation, with peace. Tonight I am reminded that our tradition teaches not only that we seek the blessing of HaShem, but that we are required to also take action to make it happen. So tonight I pray to HaShem, give me the courage to live life more peacefully, without rage and anger, with the recognition that it is up to me to create peace with my family, my friends, my coworkers, with those strangers on the street for whom I've already been commanded to treat with love and respect. When I pray for that hapores sukkat shalom, that shelter of peace, I will now also pray for a sukkah of strength and courage, that will weather those storms upon my spirit and my heart that have kept me from being a better partner with HaShem in fulfilling my responsibility of continuing creation.

I suppose as much as I criticize reality television, maybe the lesson I've learned from it might be that we're all still on stage, that HaShem has challenged us to give our best performance and that we are continually granted opportunities for which to improve that performance. Only each contestant has the power to remove himself or herself from the running. Yet, we are still given those challenges, not competing with one another to be to HaShem's number one choice, but to make the most of not only this gift of life, but also this gift of creation. HaShem welcomes us as partners and welcomes us back to the stage where we can return again to the land of our soul. What power has been placed in our possession. What responsibility has been placed upon our shoulders. I gratefully accept this yoke fully and completely.

Baruch ata HaShem, Eloheinu melech ha'olam, shehekianu, v'kimanu, v'higianu lazman hazeh. We praise you HaShem, Sovereign of the Universe, who gives us life, sustains us, and brings us to this sacred time.

May I gasp for peace within my own life and for peace within the lives of all of HaShem's creation.

How much does Hashem bless me? I'll tell you...

Okay, so I could never count the ways in which I am blessed. Certainly there are many ways of which I am not even aware and certainly for which I do not say enough thanks.

This one however I just have to share. Some of you are aware that I've returned to school, yet again, whilst working full-time. Not being daddy-warbucks or having a sugar-daddy, money can be tight, even when the state covers tuition as one of my benefits of employment. I kind of consider it compensation for hard work and limited budgets. Anyway... textbooks are not covered. They are an "on your own" expense, which wouldn't be so bad if the bloody things didn't amount to something close to tuition.

I arrived home this evening, around 5:45pm, not really thinking too much about how I was going to get books. I sorted some laundry and headed off to the laundromat, with my Bar Mitzvah study materials and iPod in hand. As the clothes tossed around in the washer and dryer I practiced blesssings and portions of Torah and Haftarah. I was so high, so excited. In the car on the way home I'm singing L'dor V'dor. When I get home the combination of laundromat and the extreme heat in the Piedmont Triad of NC has resulted in my schvitzing so much that I could have done a miniature remake of the parting of the Reed Sea. I take myself a shower and refresh, while listening to a Neshama Carlebach interview on Too Jewish Radio.

As I step out of the shower it occurs to me "just give it a try, the worst will be no," and I got dressed, hopped on my bike and headed to the University library. Wow, believe it or not, all four texts that I need right now were available for check out. Absolutely amazing I tell you, ab-so-lute-ly amazing. I'll add that as I found the fourth book on the shelf I stopped and said the Shecheyanu. As I exited the library and saw the sky above, the moon and stars, I said it again, feeling overwhelmed with blessings. Removing the lock from my bike I pedaled home, getting some much needed exercise, however schvitzing all over again, even more than last time. I'll shower again in the morning. I've got reading to do. Baruch Hashem.

Twenty Fours Years Later

So folks, I'm finally getting around to having a Bar Mitzvah. Laughing some of you are, knowing that I'm 37 years old. As the wise rabbi would say though, better late, than later.

I'm very excited to practicing my Torah portion as well as Haftarah in addition to the blessings before and after along with all the prayers, songs, etc. In addition to not only learning some Hebrew and chanting it, I've really enjoyed the midrashic teachings that my wonderful Rabbi provides. Wanna chat about it? Have questions? Message me and let's see how many opinions we can come up with between the two of us :)

For the record, Saturday 24 November! Vayishlach, here I come.

Testing, Testing...

In the beginning, Yonah created a blog... oy vey.