I sit here at this computer, earlier in the evening having done havdalah and said l'hitraot to shabbat. My heart rejoices that as a Jew I am a part of a people that holds this tradition, making the sabbath so special and unique. My heart breaks and yearns, for sabbath is over and I can't wait until once again I can breath in the queen. In a translation of the Yiddish of Kadia Molodowsky by Jean Valentine, "...my heart's song is an eternal Sabbath."
I often spend the time after Havdalah reading; prayer books, midrashim, whatever miscellaneous jewish text or otherwise thas happens to have fallen into my hands. Tonight, the following paragraph, at the end of a collection of writings brought me to tears.
A rabbi was asked by a farmer when the world would truly know peace. The rabbi replied, "Follow me." He then brought him to the side of a brook, put his hand on the farmer's head, and pressed it into the water until the farmer came up gasping for breath. The rabbi then said: "This is your answer. When man wants peace, when he wants as much as you just wanted air, when he comes up gasping for peace, when he is truly ready to give everything in himself to have peace, as you have give to have air, he will have peace."
So many times I've prayed, HaShem bless me, my people, all of humanity, all of creation, with peace. Tonight I am reminded that our tradition teaches not only that we seek the blessing of HaShem, but that we are required to also take action to make it happen. So tonight I pray to HaShem, give me the courage to live life more peacefully, without rage and anger, with the recognition that it is up to me to create peace with my family, my friends, my coworkers, with those strangers on the street for whom I've already been commanded to treat with love and respect. When I pray for that hapores sukkat shalom, that shelter of peace, I will now also pray for a sukkah of strength and courage, that will weather those storms upon my spirit and my heart that have kept me from being a better partner with HaShem in fulfilling my responsibility of continuing creation.
I suppose as much as I criticize reality television, maybe the lesson I've learned from it might be that we're all still on stage, that HaShem has challenged us to give our best performance and that we are continually granted opportunities for which to improve that performance. Only each contestant has the power to remove himself or herself from the running. Yet, we are still given those challenges, not competing with one another to be to HaShem's number one choice, but to make the most of not only this gift of life, but also this gift of creation. HaShem welcomes us as partners and welcomes us back to the stage where we can return again to the land of our soul. What power has been placed in our possession. What responsibility has been placed upon our shoulders. I gratefully accept this yoke fully and completely.
Baruch ata HaShem, Eloheinu melech ha'olam, shehekianu, v'kimanu, v'higianu lazman hazeh. We praise you HaShem, Sovereign of the Universe, who gives us life, sustains us, and brings us to this sacred time.
May I gasp for peace within my own life and for peace within the lives of all of HaShem's creation.
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